Ici’s post reminded me that I haven’t updated in a while. But truth be told, I find there isn’t much to say. Which is bullshit of course. There’s lots to say. It’s a lot easier to not think about it though.

Oh well.

Happy Halloween.

The guy who kicked the kitten against the fence repeatedly was found not guilty this afternoon.

It has, apparently, bothered me more than I originally thought.

I was okay the first couple hours, but now I keep alternating between the feeling of being betrayed by the legal system (I stood up for this system to the other raging fanatics, dammit!), and dismayed at the fact that this man has probably learned nothing from the whole experience, and is getting off scot free. He didn’t even have to pay for the damn attorney.

But mostly I just feel disbelief. This man hurts cats. And he’s now free to go.

I’m sick and tired of the assumption that my goal in life is to find a man.

TV. Websites. Magazines. Radio. Casual Acquaintances.

I know I don’t represent a majority of the population. And most of the time it doesn’t really matter. But lately, life has felt exclusive. I don’t like going out in the world only to find I don’t fit in and there is no real niche for me. Intellectually I know that’s not true, but lately I’ve been feeling like a wannabe breeder. (derisive slang for hetero. Tinged with irony considering the number of gay & lesbian couples with children. Okay, lets face it, I was aiming for being rude. It makes me feel better. I have now successfully failed Buddhism 101. Go me!)

Normally I’d brush this off as hormones, but I’ve been noticing it for a while now. I’m ready to go “be gay” for a while. It shouldn’t matter, but it does. I know I’m not the only person to feel this way, and I know there are dozens of other reasons to feel like this. So this isn’t a personal pity party, I’m sure I’m sharing it with someone.

But let’s face it, every once in a while, it’s nice to have people make the correct assumption. The problem with being in the minority of anything is that you have to either a) pretend you’re something you’re not (I am incapable of this for any appreciable length of time) or b) become a poster child for that minority if you want to educate people. And some days, you just don’t want to be the poster child.

Clearly it’s time to pick up more pissed-off dyke zines.

You are Dr. Bunson Honeydew.

You love to analyse things and further the cause of
science, even if you do tend to blow things up
more often than not.

HOBBIES:

Scientific inquiry, Looking through microscopes,
Recombining DNA to create decorative art.

QUOTE:

“Now, Beakie, we’ll just flip this switch and
60,000 refreshing volts of electricity will
surge through your body. Ready?”

FAVORITE MUSICAL ARTIST:

John Cougar Melonhead

LAST BOOK READ:

“Quantum Physics: 101 Easy Microwave
Recipes”

NEVER LEAVES HOME WITHOUT:

An atom smasher and plenty of extra atoms.

What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

*self-righteous indignation mode ON*

Question of the night:

Who The FUCK puts dairy protein in soymilk?

Answer: People afraid of carbs.

Ugh.

I should have figured they added something to raise the protein in it so high. And I thought they just put less sugar in. Silly me.

I can’t find dairy listed in the ingredients, but I did notice the box advertises it as being lactose free, not dairy free. And based on what that did to my stomach, it had something I’m allergic to in it…. fuckers. Carb-fearing fuckers.

Went to bed. No response from Monacita. She sleeps with ear plugs now because another one of the local dogs has taken to barking all night again. It’s interesting, I didn’t know how much hearing affected your sleep. She rarely wakes up when I come in the room now. Sometimes when I climb into bed she wakes up, usually startled because she didn’t hear me come in. Other times she doesn’t seem to hear me at all, or else she’s just half asleep and not responding. I’m not fond of the ear plugs. It makes things kind of weird because it changed her behavior some. But they seem to be helping (which is good, sleep is really important to her, and dealing with that dogs owner is ineffective and stressful), and I know I will adjust.

And last night I was pleasantly surprised. I reached out and touched her back, just to be touching her (cause I was needy), and she grabbed my arm and pulled it around her. I think we slept the rest of the night that way. And we snuggled a little when her alarm went off before dawn this morning. All in all, it was very nice. I am still a little needy, but I feel babied, and that helps more than it probably should.

Which is good, because I think today is going to be food free. I took a sip of juice at 8:30 this morning and spent the next hour wishing I hadn’t. There is no way I will be able to work at Lindsey and make it to the airport if I’m dumb enough to eat something.

Speaking of which…. It’s time for me to go.

I’m tired and cranky and need a snuggle. I also need my stomach to settle. The Immodium seems to have helped with the chained to the toilet part, but my stomach continues to gurgle and generally feel icky. If I was practicing what my therapist said I should, I’d tell you why that was significant to me, but I really believe this one is pretty self explanatory. I feel like shit, I want to be babied and to feel better.

Unfortunately the first one isn’t in my future because Monacita is being a paid substitute tomorrow, which means she has to be at school by 7 or 7:30 tomorrow. Suffice to say she’s already in bed.

I think I should join her.

I know this is intolerant of me, and I’m sure it really does make people’s lives suck, but….

My first thought really was, “You have GOT to be kidding me.”

My favourite side effect: “Often cause difficulty staying or falling asleep, which leads to feelings of daytime tiredness or fatique”

So does a bad night’s sleep, but that doesn’t warrant a syndrome….

Again, just me being intolerant.

But at the very least, they really need a better name.