Fill it out dammit, you know you want to…

Yes, it is a well known, respected science journal.

(Bottom of the page, right hand side.)

Go check, it’ll pop up in a new window, I’ll still be here.

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And yes, dammit, I *do* want a pet mutant of the month!!

What’s worse than figuring out that you’re spending too much?

Finding out that someone else is spending your money for you, unauthorized.

Yup. And don’t I get the freak show with this one…

Someone set up an unauthorized AOL account using my credit card.

Seriously. That’s it. No other unauthorized charges.

But I still had to call AOL and cancel the account and call the bank to get a new card issued… fortunately, AOL is reimbursing the last three months worth of charges. That’s one grocery shopping trip right there!

Of course, I’m left feeling pretty damn stupid about the prior 5 months worth of charges… How did I not notice? I have no idea. I’ve looked at my bank statements a LOT lately, keeping track of my spending. And yet somehow I missed it. *shrug*

Oh well. At least I know what ALL the charges on my statement are now…

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Seriously though, who jacks a card number only to use it to buy dial up from AOL? AND NOTHING ELSE?

Woke up feeling sick/hung over. Something nasty is in bloom, making me feel horrid. The allergy pills help some, which is good.

The rest of it is probably just life.

Current checking balance: $27.24

I was bad. I filled my gas tank and bought groceries, which I seem to be going through at an alarming pace.

I bought groceries because I was dumb enough to have hope.

I bought groceries because I was tired of having to mooch from Araceli’s extras.

I bought groceries because I wanted, at least briefly, to pretend that I was a normal person with a normal life, able to afford go grocery shopping.

Admittedly though, I shouldn’t bitch, some of this is my own fault. In the last month I have spent about $200.00 on things I didn’t have to buy.. a movie here, lunch or dinner with Monacita there, cloves occasionally, pre-made food from the grocery store… it adds up. On the other hand, I haven’t had fast food in weeks. There is one good thing about all this… I think the worst was the $100 I took out to pay my part of utilities, that didn’t get used for utilities. Instead it got used for other things. That does include gas though, which took up a third of it right there. Ah well.

Am I justifying? Maybe. Or maybe just clarifying in my mind. Obviously I need to be more careful about cash. That definitely seems to be an issue.

Oh well. At least I know where I stand.

How the hell did my life end up like this? I mean, it’s good that I’m now paying attention to my spending, but at the same time, this really does seem ridiculous…

Again. It happened again.

This time the company decided that they didn’t like ANY of the candidates, and aren’t hiring anyone. That’s the third time this year I’ve gone through the interview process only to find out it didn’t matter at all.

1st time, Really Excellent Educational Facilities can’t get the funding.
2nd time, Well-Known Bleach Company decides to do an internal re-organization instead of hiring.
This time, Baby Shampoo’s Subsidiary Biotech doesn’t like any of the candidates. (Read: if they’re going to pay almost 40 an hour, they want someone who they don’t have to train. So now they’re going to try and go outside the agency. Great.)

And of course, Scientific Employment Agency 1 has NOTHING to offer right now, hasn’t for ages, and the Heraldry Gas Co position is still this mythical possibility.. They’ve been interested in me for a month and a half, and yet, I’ve never seen or heard from these people.

And now Really Excellent Educational Facilities is hiring again… ad, interviews and all. They did offer to consider me once again, which is nice, but they’re still interviewing other candidates. I’m trying really hard not to read too much into it, but frankly, it feels like I have to wait and see if they find anyone better.

There is really nothing like feeling like you’re not someone’s first pick. Not that I’d turn down a job knowing that of course, but…

It’s getting to me. It really is. After every phone call I alternate between feeling dead inside and this searing, screaming pain. I know it’s bad out there, and I know it’s not just me. But this still hurts. And it hurts BAD. I mean, for fuck’s sake, I applied at Martha-Mart and haven’t heard back. MARTHA-MART. How fucking useless/hopeless do you have to be to not be qualified for Martha-Mart?!?

(names have been changed to protect my sorry ass in case by some dumb fluke someone finally employes me. I’m not losing my job for something as stupid as using the company name…)

Last night I picked up Rita Celestial from the airport. Well, actually, Monacita, Cisco and I picked Rita up from the airport. And in my quest to get us there on time, and account for traffic on the way, I got us there an hour before Rita’s plane landed. Trying to find a place to hang out in the airport with your car for an hour without paying for the privledge is a neat trick.

We did finally find such a thing, for 30 minutes, which, by the time we discovered it, was the perfect amount of time.

We got her, headed back to our home territory, stopped for crepes, dropped off Monacita, then Cisco Rita and I proceeded to get wasted. I’m talking half a huge ass bottle of rum wasted. (And that was just Cisco and I. Rita can’t stand the stuff and broke out a bottle of wine.)

Now it’s the morning after. Rita and Cisco, who almost never get hangovers, were fine. I’m pretty close to non-functional, but that’s okay too. It was definitely a giggle. Except for the part where I really wish I wasn’t concious right now, I feel way better. I know that shouldn’t be theraputic, but sometimes it is.

I think I’m going back to bed now.

Old people appeasement apparatus number 1. Free standing, portable air conditioner. Because apparently, old people don’t like fans.

Doggy containment unit! Yes, that is the pug on the left.

It’s a head on view of an Imperial Moth. I snagged it from here. I love that it looks like a winged teddy bear

It’s my current wall paper, and makes me giggle everytime I see it.

Yes. I know there’s something wrong with me.