I am the minnow whisperer.

For the second day in a row we went out on the boat, cruising around the lake, trying to use up the last of the fuel. We stopped at Part Time Point again (still an island), and took a swim out to the buoys. Last time we were there I found a small fish which seemed to be living in or around the buoy. I wanted to see if it was still there. After sitting quietly for a few minutes, the fish appeared and swam around me. Yay!

My compatriots were at the next buoy out. As I swam over to join them, I saw a bug, trapped on its back because it’s wings were stuck on the surface tension of the water. I wasn’t sure what to do about this because I couldn’t tell if it was a bee or a bee mimic. (A type of fly that looks like a bee.) I was trying to get a better look when all of a sudden a small fish came up from the depths, and mostly swallowed the insect in question. I say mostly swallowed, because the butt end (where the stinger could possibly be) was sticking out of it’s mouth. And then the little fucker turned and swam straight at me.

Suffice to say there was a LOT of screaming and flailing. (I’ve never been stung by a bee and I don’t intend to start now, thank you very much.)

At that point I was done with the water, but the fish weren’t done with me. A small german speckled trout decided I was its new home, and spent 50 yards or so hanging out in the crook of my arm, in my cleavage, and being shooed away from my nether regions. Any flailing resulted in the fish disappearing for a moment, before it came back to hang out again. It was very cool.

I drive past the Sun Valley mall twice a day on my way to and from class.  Every once in a while I notice something a little odd.  A few weeks back I saw an RV parked in the lot.  I’ve seen that before, it’s not that unusual.

I’ve seen a gaggle of Tunnel Rat ghetto rides (wannabe gangsters from East of the Caldecott tunnel). That was a little odd, but funny.

Earlier this week I saw several limos parked in the lot.  Again, unusual, particularly at 8 AM since the mall doesn’t open for another hour or two.

Today took the cake.  Like I said, I’ve seen RVs before.  But I’ve never seen someone outside his RV cooking breakfast on his camp stove.  The guy had an apron on and everything.  I swear to god it looked like something that should have been in a 1950′s Sears catalog.  The only thing that could have made it better was if he’d set up a tent.

But that would have just been silly.

Yesterday, on a whim, I perused the Gigs section of Craigslist.  I found two potential gigs (short-term/single project jobs) and shot off emails to them.  One responded right away, and we quickly ferreted out that I did not yet have the skills necessary to do what he needed.  (Which was fine.  He was very polite, the whole transaction was extremely professional, and I came away proud of myself for trying.)

The second gig is still up in the air, and as I learn more about it, the more murky it seems to be.  To the point that I’m thinking of just emailing the guy and telling him I can’t do it in the timeline he wants.  (There’s irony for you. This is a non-paying gig, I’d be using it to get a site design under my belt, and the guy expects overnight turn around.)

The interesting part in all this is why things are getting murky.  In his response email to me, the guy included a link to his current site, and a copy of a grant application he was preparing.  (The latter was to be used for developing site content.) Both the email and the grant had some.. odd phrasing, the kind of thing that made me wonder if English was his first language. When I tried to call him I got his voicemail, and low and behold, English is not his first language.

The grant application also included a bibliography which cited this site three times, including an article entitled “Children of Divorce: Rapists and Other Criminals”.  Not that I would inherently turn down a job because I don’t believe in/or agree with their cause, but it definitely gave me pause.

Interesting fun fact: this guy also named his kid Nixon.  Who the hell names their kid Nixon?

Anyway, after some serious thought, I think I’m turning down the job.

• It’s an unpaid gig with a super tight deadline.
• It involves writing the web content, something I’m not sure I can do with a straight face.
• There’s a language barrier.
• I can’t get the guy to return my calls and emails in a timely fashion.
• The guy named his kid Nixon.

I think it’s safe to say: I’m out.